ODE TO ‘I’m just gettin’ on for a MINUTE' © 1996, K. Weston http://members.aol.com/ladyzinnia/index.html I got up this morning, but haven’t yet dressed. My dishes aren’t done, and my house is a mess. Have not done my work, have not fed the cat, Just on for a second, and popped into "chat". I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex, I think I remember I used to have SEX! I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair, ‘Tho it causes the neighbors and children to STARE! I wanted to travel around on the Net, Been too busy chatting to get on there yet! I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint, But gettin’ on with 'em is what I just ain’t! So much to learn and I wanted to, but I’m too busy chatting and splitting a gut, "lisnin’" to people like NH and Cin, Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in! Then up pops a name on my neat BuddyList, Think I’ll go out and give HIS tail a twist! And in comes an IM from some weirdo-guy, I cuss ‘im, insult ‘im, and tell him ‘bye ‘bye. Is there a 12-step support group, or such? For those of us folks who just chat on too much? If there was a group, I would like it just fine, Except that it prob’ly would be here on line! Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some. It’s got me, it’s GOT me, it’s power is AWESOME! It’s my new computer, I’ve had it one week, Now I look in the mirror and I see a geek. Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs, Please help me, please help me, please get me off line! Or better, please e-mail a burger and fries, ‘Cuz I’m staying ON here, at least ‘til I DIES!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Subject: A Parody. >To the tune of the theme from Giligan's Island: Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale about my virtual trip. It started from my IBM with a simple little click. I tried to surf the Internet but things did not go well. I wound up in a chat room with some cyber geeks from hell. (He's trapped in cyber hell). They won't shut up I can't escape this AOL nightmare. If I sign up to prodigy I bet they'd find me there. (Those geeks are everywhere.) I'm stuck inside the World Wide Web with weirdos I don't know. I hit F1, unplug the phone, I can't click out I can't click in. It said SIT CHAT... Oh my god!, I'm trapped on the Internet! -Author Unknown, but a .wav file shall be sent upon request.