A man and his chevrusa are learning in the local beis midrash. "I have some wonderful news," says the man. "My daughter is getting married." "Mazal tov!" says his friend. "That IS wonderful!" "Thank you. Well, here's the thing. We've been learning together for over 20 years, and you're one of the most important people in my life. I'd really like you to be an eid [wittness] for the wedding. His friend looks suddenly embarrased. "I'm sorry, old friend, but I'm afraid I can't accept. You see, I'm not Jewish." "What?! But how could you not be?" "Well," says his friend, "I find shul to be very spiritually fulfilling, and the learning is the best intellectual stimulation around, to say nothing of this wonderful community. I've devoted mylife to the mitzvos, but I've never actually converted." The man is aghast. "But didn't we just learn that a goy who observes Shabbos incurs ! the death penalty?" "Oh, no worries," says his friend. "I don't keep Shabbos. You see, every Saturday morning before going to shul, I put a key in my pocket." "So? Our community has an eruv." "Feh," says his friend. "I don't hold by that eruv."