A well-meaning gentile from Connecticut, upon getting to Washington on his vacation, is about to enter Senator Lieberman's office when a Capitol Building guard stops him. "I'm sorry, Sir," the guard explained. "Senator Lieberman is doing Mincha and Mariv at this time." The gentile walks away shaking his head, saying "Hmmm, Clinton only had Monica." -------------- When Lieberman Becomes Vice-President 1. The tidal basin will be rededicated as a mikva. 2. The EPA declares the Potomac polluted when it is the official designation for tashlich. 3. The IRS will accept pledges, prior to April 15th 4. The Iron Workers of America will cast a vice-presidential mezuzah. 5. Yom Kippur will be extended this year because of the enormous numbers and types of sinning in Washington. 6. Buy sheidl stock! 7. On the day of inauguration, a furor erupts over whether VEEP Lieberman will daven with Rashi or Rabbenu Tam tfilliin. 8. To reduce HMO costs, kosher chicken soup will replace antibiotics. 9. The IRS will contract out their deadbeat file for collection to the UJA. 10. Government employees will receive four more holidays: Tzum Gedaliah, Fast of Esther, the 15th of Shevat and Tisha B'Av. 11. "Separate but Equal" will take on new meaning after a mechitza is erected in the Blue room. 12. Garlic will become our national herb. 13. State dinners will have enough food for the population of Wheeling, W.VA. 14. Executive Orders will be written on a scroll (megillah). 15. Important Executive Orders will be called gansa migillahs 16. You will NEVER hear the word "putzhead." Shmendrick, maybe. 17. Three new shuls will arise in Washington. Joe Lieberman's; anti-Joe Lieberman's; and one shul that nobody would go to. 18. Mah Jong will replace Baseball as the national game