Subject:    Medical Ebonics

  Benign.........................What you be after you be eight.
  Artery..........................The study of paintings.
  Bacteria.......................Back door to cafeteria.
  Barium.........................What doctors do when patients die.
  Cesarean Section...........A neighborhood in Rome.
  CAT Scan......................Searching for Kitty.
  Cauterize......................Made eye contact with her.
  Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
  D&C.............................Where Washington is.
  Dilate...........................To live long.
  Enema..........................Not a friend.
  Fester..........................Quicker than someone else.
  Fibula...........................A small lie.
  G.I.Series.....................World Series of military baseball.
  Hangnail.......................What you hang your coat on.
  Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known.
  Labor Pain....................Getting hurt at work.
  Medical Staff..................A Doctor’s cane.
  Morbid...........................A higher offer than I bid.
  Nitrates..........................Cheaper than day rates.
  Node............................ Something ya knew all along.
  Outpatient......................A person who has fainted.
  Pap Smear......................A slur against yer Daddy’s honor.
  Pelvis...........................Second cousin to Elvis.
  Post Operative.................A letter carrier.
  Recovery Room..............Place to do re-upholstery.
  Rectum....................... Damn near totalled the pick-up.
  Secretion....................Hiding something.
  Seizure........................Roman emperor.
  Tablet...........................A small table.
  Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
  Tumor..........................More than one.
  Urine............................Opposite of “yer out.”
  Varicose.......................Near by/close by.