Subj:   IF THEIR MOTHERS WERE JEWISH

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have
to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I
spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you
still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that
stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your
report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and
show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat?
Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to
school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade
than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't
you do something about your hair?
Styling gel, mousse, something . . .?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing
money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've
really been for the last three days."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you 
invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"