The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment. Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral in it.
Next day, Kathy said, "My father's a farmer, and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking eggs to market in a box
on the front seat of the truck, when we hit a bump and a lot of
them broke and made a mess."
"So, what's the moral of the story," asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Another child, Lucy, told her story. "Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had 16 eggs one time,
but when they hatched, we only got 10 live chicks.
And the moral to this story is:
Don't count your chickens until they hatch."

"That was fine," said the teacher.
"Now, Johnny, do you have a story too?"
"Yes, ma'am. My daddy told me about my Aunt Karen.
She was a flight engineer in Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane
got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory. All she had was
a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break.
Then she landed in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed 70 with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
She hacked 20 more with the machete until the blade broke.
And she killed the last 10 with her bare hands."

"Good heavens!" exclaimed the horrified teacher.
"What kind of moral did your daddy tell you was in this
terrible story?"

"Don't mess with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."