Subject: Guide to Personal Ads

If the Ad says: It Means:

Adventurous- no insurance
Affectionate- Possessive
Average-looking- ugly
Educated- college dropout
Emotionally secure- medicated
Loves art & opera- snob
Free Spiri-t chemically addicted
Fun- annoying
In transition- lazy bum looking for someone to support him/her
Loves animls- has 2 pit bulls
open-minded- Desperate
outgoing- loud & obnoxious
poet- depressive schizophrenic
professional- jerk
reliable- frumpy
romantic- thinks he's casanova
self-employed- jobless
spiritual- in a cult
stable- boring
young-at-heart- dirty old man