Description: Vending Machine Laws                                 

Thomas R. James, GE Aerospace/GESD, Moorestown, NJ
There are Murphy's Laws for everything, right? Well, where I work there
are vending machines from hell. These machines have prompted me to come
up with my own laws that govern vending machines:
 
        THOMAS' VERSION OF MURPHY'S LAWS FOR VENDING MACHINES
 
The Sorry-No-Change Law:
   When the 'Use Exact Change Only' light is lit you will have 3
   quarters for a 55 cent product.
 
The 'There it goes!' Law:
   When you have the exact amount, you will drop a coin and helplessly
   watch it roll under the machine to be lost forever.
 
The First Law of Wanting:
   The person at the machine will take the last one of 'Just what you
   wanted'.
   Corollary: The machine will be refilled with nothing you wanted.
 
The Second Law of Wanting:
   The machine with 'Just what you wanted' will be out of order.
 
The Law of Machine Feeding:
   The machine will malfunction and eat your money.
 
The Law of Mis-hits:
   You will hit the wrong selection and end up with 'Turnip paste
   filled wheat crackers...with nuts'.
 
The Fizzy Law:
   You will be the first to discover the soda machine has no cups.
 
McGill's Inverse Fragility Law:
   The most delicate products in the machine were placed so as to fall
   the furthest when selected to ensure being crushed into inedibility.
 
The So-Close-And-Yet-So-Far Law (3rd Law of Wanting):
   The last product of 'Just what you wanted' will jam in the machine.