Vocabulary Building

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404 man."


ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in
an office or work group.

ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators
running.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch
potato.

OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.

YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal:
"We owe $8 each, but all anybody'sgot are yuppie food stamps.

TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. Example: "We had three serious students in the
class; the rest were just tourists."

ABDICATE (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

CARCINOMA (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

ESPLANADE (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

WILLY-NILLY (adj.) impotent.

FLABBERGASTED (adj.)  appalled over how much weight you have gained.

LYMPH (v.) to walk with a lisp.

COFFEE (n.) a person who is coughed upon.

BALDERDASH (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

RECTITUDE (n.) the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

OYSTER (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

CIRCUMVENT (n.) the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

FRISBATARIANISM (n.)  the belief that when you die your soul goes
up on the roof and gets stuck there.

SARCHASM:  the gulf between the author's wit and the reader who
doesn't get it.

REINTARNATION:  coming back to life as a hillbilly.

FOREPLOY: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
obtaining you know what.

INOCULATTE:  to take coffee intravenously.

GLIBIDO:  all talk and no action.

DOPELER EFFECT:  the tendency of stupid ideas to sound smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

INTAXIFICATION:  euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS until you
realize it was your money to start with.

IGNORANUS:  a person who is both stupid and an asshole.