An American Jew's guide to living in Israel by Elliott Antman May 18, 2009 http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1086349.html When my grandmother first visited Israel in the 1970s, she was eager to practice her dormant Yiddish speaking skills. She was shocked to learn that no-one, from the bus driver to the shopkeeper, could speak a bisel of Yiddish. Likewise, there are certain flavors of Judaism that are completely new to an American Jew like myself residing in Israel. I am quickly acquiring a taste for these new flavors, but nostalgia for the comforts of my Jewish upbringing in the United States still remains. The common thread that binds all Jews together is very much alive in Israel, but I would like to alert my fellow Diaspora Jews to some of the differences they might encounter here in our homeland. No points for being a 'member of the tribe' Although camaraderie amongst Israeli Jews is evident on the national scale, don't expect to receive discounted prices or that high-profile job because you have a Jewish mother or had a bris. I'm not sure if it's the demographics or the cynicism in Israel, but somehow getting special treatment from fellow Jews is quite rare. No Kosher aisles Living in the Diaspora leaves many Jews restricted to a small selection of available food, usually placed in a dark, dusty corner of their local supermarket. In the modern Jewish state, we have entire city blocks of open-air markets dedicated to offering the best in kosher delicacies. We are no longer shackled by the choice of fish in a jar or powdered hummus. The countless options of kosher foods from all over the world means we cannot only compare tastes, but also prices - both activities which can make for a full day excursion. Falafel vs. the matzah ball The falafel has swiftly replaced kneidelach as the ball of choice for the modern Jew. Barely 61 years of Jewish self-determination and already, matzah ball soup seems like a ritual from the Second Temple. With falafel stands on almost every corner in Israel, there is little room for delicatessens with matzah ball soup on the menu. While falafel is delicious and filling, Jews visiting Israel should not expect this spicier ball to carry the title of "Jewish penicillin" that matzah balls proudly bear. Hanukkah lights aren't a political statement During the holiday season in the United States, many Jews feel compelled to counter the shine of Christmas lights with our blue-white glow of dissention. This electric display of religious alliance is quite unnecessary in Israel. Call it old-fashioned, but a hannukiah serves just fine for a little holiday cheer. No Black and White Cookies The famous dessert pastry, loved by American Jews and immortalized by Seinfeld, is harder to come by in Israel than a lasting peace agreement. It could be the chocolate and vanilla frosting living side-by-side in harmony that doesn't ring true in this part of the world, but for one reason or another, this deliciously diverse cookie is still amiss here. Politicians aren't 'bad for the Jews' - they are simply bad Jews At some point during an election year in the U.S. or other democratic countries, a politician might strike a tone that doesn't exactly resonate with the Jewish minority. Inevitably, and quite swiftly, I might add, this individual will earn the stigma of being "bad for the Jews." Politicians who have garnered this title (according to my grandmother) include notable figures such as former President Jimmy Carter. In the Jewish state, we can skip the preposition when describing out unpopular politicians and just label them "bad Jews." The paddle-ball (matkot) craze Somewhere between Exodus and the Balfour Declaration, the people of Israel decided that paddle-ball would be the official sport of the beach. This is quite different from the popular beach sport Ashkenazi Jews from the Diaspora are accustomed to - applying more sunscreen. Token Jew Jews in the Diaspora are surely familiar with the phenomenon of being the 'token' Jew in the room. This situation naturally arises in places where Jews are not commonly found, such as wrestling tournaments or KFC. While being the token Jew in the room can be fun and/or life threatening - depending on where you are - Jews in Israel seldom worry about this situation occurring. Funny, you don't look Jewish Over the years, Diaspora Jews have refined their ability to identify Jews and non-Jews. For some of us, this skill is most often employed while dining out. We can usually figure out where the Jews are in the room, judging by the looks of a person or how annoyed their waiter is. While visiting Israel, Jews might find themselves saying: "Funny, you don't look Jewish." As Israel is the melting pot for Jews from all over the world, one quickly discovers that Jews come in all shapes and colors. There are no themed Bar Mitzvahs The grandeur of Bar Mitzvah receptions seems to grow with every new generation of Jews in the United States. A standard Bar Mitzvah in the U.S. now might include an MC, DJ, lighting effects, fog machine, live animals from the endangered species list, and, of course, a theme. These themes - once as simple a sport or film - have now reached the same level of importance as the buffet meal. As with other aspects of Judaism, Israeli Jews have chosen to forgo the frills of this age-old tradition. Bar Mitzvahs here in Israel are much more to the point: Torah reading. Food. Checks. It is true that Jews in the Diaspora might find themselves experiencing a slight case of culture shock when they step off the plane. But anyone arriving in Israel will quickly see that it is a wonderful melting pot of cultures from all corners of the planet. So, if there is something missing in Israel, one should not be afraid to fill the void in this ever-evolving culture. It might just be the next big thing.