What Harry Potter Can Teach Parents About Kids Caron B. Goode, Ed.D. Tuscon, AZ - November 16, 2001 - /Xpress Press/ - As the first movie about the magic of Harry Potter opens in America, millions of children and parents are reading and re-reading the high-fantasy stories of this child hero. What can parents learn from this Harry Potter rage? The answer is both disturbing and exciting. This phenomenon is disturbing because it shows parents how little encouragement children receive to develop their dreams and vision. Yet, it is exciting because Harry and his outrageous adventures cause lively imaginations to stretch further than ever. Indeed, Harry Potter could revolutionize every parent's thinking about how to support their children's inner world of imagination, dreaming, and storytelling. Children live in two worlds. One is of inner experience, feelings, pictures and dreams that make up who they are. The other is within communities of influential people ­ family (especially parents) and friends, teachers, church leaders and more. Yet, the busier children are in their communities, the less time they have to explore the richness of their own inner lives. Parents want their children to be considered successful by others -- but it's important that success in the community does not come at the expense of individual dreams. That's why children need to be encouraged to envision how they are going to live and what they want to do -- just like Harry Potter and friends. Their lives will be healthier and more balanced because of developing their imaginary worlds. And, even more important, children will never lose their "pictures" of who they are -- the dreams of being a fireman, a teacher, even a wizard at Hogwarts. Indeed, parents feel joyfully rewarded when they help their children's dreams become real. Here are five solid lessons they can learn from the Harry Potter phenomenon to promote those dreams. HARRY POTTER LESSON #1: Take the time and space to discover dreams. The millions of children and parents reading the Harry Potter series demonstrate just how mundane and boring life may have become for many. When I taught in an elementary school, children always asked me, "Why do I have to do this?" Why do you think I was born?" "What can I do when I grow up?" They were striving to connect with their inner images of themselves. Harry Potter helps fill that need. Todayıs emphasis on outwardly focused achievement and performance means many parents rarely give children the time or space to explore their inner world, to discover their own dreams. Children who fail to dream feel angry and hurt They seem to go through each day without purpose and direction. They seek adventure in negative attention-getting behaviors because they have no inner joy. Somewhere in a stretch for success and good grades, sports experiences and science experiments, children forget their personal vision. Parents can help them remember. The Harry Potter characters show that life doesn't have to be mundane. People can bring their imaginations alive through imagery, breathing, music, storytelling and affirmations -- all techniques discussed in Nurture Your Child's Gift (published by Beyond Words Publishing, 2001). HARRY POTTER LESSON #2: Help children try on new roles. When Harry Potter goes to wizard school, he dons a wizard's robe, a symbol of his new role and esteem. At Halloween, children try on different costumes to get a feel for different roles they can play. They see themselves as familiar characters and sense how they would fit in to new situations, imagining what it would be like to venture out of the norm. In one of those moments, children will latch onto a dream, a picture of themselves that feels great. A musician. An actor. A scientist. A wizard!! So how can parents help them hold onto the Ah!Ha! feelings from these experiences? To connect their dreams to the outer world? By encouraging them to a reach new point of comfort in the roles and characters they adopt. Then they will feel success in a world larger than the everyday one of their communities. HARRY POTTER LESSON #3: Help children overcome challenges. Harry Potter gets a break from his miserable family life when he is allowed to go to wizard school and, for the first time ever, finds himself among like-minded people who accept and challenge him. Parents can help their children grow by gently moving them into experiences that challenge them beyond their limitations. The best methods depend on each child's temperament and emotional management skills. Parents can glean ideas for ways to empower their children according to their temperaments in Nurture Your Child's Gift. HARRY POTTER LESSON #4: Champion the children. In wizardry school, Harry Potter has a mysterious "champion" who was completely unknown to him at first. Every child needs a champion. Research shows that children who experience trauma, illness or abuse CAN recover if they can relate to a patient, tuned-in mentor or a cheerleader. So how do parents champion their children? When they listen, support and challenge. When they show they care. When they remain aware to their child's needs and intentions. HARRY POTTER LESSON #5: Help children become heroes in their worlds. Harry Potter is a hero. He is loyal to his friends. In his misadventures, he always has the intention to do good and save the day. Children identify with Harry's intentions ­ to do well, to solve problems, to explore and satisfy their curiosity. Do parents really understand their children's intentions? Or are they quick to judge only by the results of their actions? Harry exhibits kindness, courage and friendship ­ qualities of a hero. He reminds us that all children would like to be heroes in their own life stories. But they need their parents to be their heroes first so they have a model to emulate. And as parents become role models for success, they champion their own dreams as well as their children's. The Harry Potter series by R.K. Rowling teaches that children's imaginations are starving for new insight and adventure. Every parent can satisfy that hunger by nurturing their own visions, by changing the ways they think and act toward children, and by learning and practicing the techniques that get them there. Starting with awareness and caring is critical and it may just be enough. Specifically, techniques suggested in Nurture Your Child's Dream help parents look inside their child's mind and heart. These include deep breathing, encouraging quiet time for imagery and stories, teaching affirmations and problem solving, all with the goal of reviving visions and dreams. These techniques for both children and parents, provide the fuel to realize the kind of dreaming that makes Harry Potter's world come to life. ## Caron B. Goode, Ed.D. Caron B. Goode's insights are drawn from her 15 years in private psychotherapy practice and 30 years of experience in special education, personal empowerment, and therapy. Her web site www.inspiredparenting.net serves as a mindbody resource for parents and child caretakers. Her fourth book is Nurture Your Child's Dream: Inspired Parenting (Beyond Words Publishing, 2001). With her husband Tom Goode, ND, Dr. Goode co-directs the International Breath Institute (IBI), an educational and training organization that offers health and lifestyle management seminars and certification. Caron and Tom live in Tucson, Arizona.