"The Dichotomy of Jewish Mothers"

On the first night of Chanukah, my Jewish mother said,
"You'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the second night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"Have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the third night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"Here's your chocolate dreidel,
have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the fourth night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"Taste my sugar cookies,
here's your chocolate dreidel,
have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the fifth night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"YOU'RE GETTING FAT!
taste my sugar cookies,
here's your chocolate dreidel,
have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the sixth night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"Don't you like the doughnuts?
YOU'RE GETTING FAT!
taste my sugar cookies,
here's your chocolate dreidel,
have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the seventh night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"Take another brownie,
YOU'RE GETTING FAT!
taste my sugar cookies,
here's your chocolate dreidel,
have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."

On the eighth night of Chanukah, my mother said to me,
"Try my home-made strudel,
take another brownie,
YOU'RE GETTING FAT!
taste my sugar cookies,
here's your chocolate dreidel,
have a few more latkes, but
you'd better lose some weight or you'll be dead."