Math Teacher Evaluation

In accordance with the new emphasis on accountability and the
Standards of Learning (S.O.L.s), the following rating scale for Math
Teachers at Handley High School has been devised:

Rating Scale
Far Exceeds Job Requirements
Exceeds Job Requirements
Meets Job Requirements
Needs Some Improvement
Does Not Meet Minimum Requirements

QUALITY
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
Must take running start to leap over tall buildings
Can leap over short buildings only
Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump over them
Cannot recognize buildings at all

TIMELINESS
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Is as fast as a speeding bullet
Not quite as fast as a speeding bullet
Would you believe a slow bullet?
Wounds self with bullet when attempting to shoot

INITIATIVE
Is stronger than a locomotive
Is stronger than a bull elephant
Is stronger than a bull
Shoots the bull
Smells like a bull

ADAPTABILITY
Walks on water consistently
Walks on water in emergencies
Washes with water
Drinks water
Passes water in emergencies

COMMUNICATION
Talks with God
Talks with the angels
Talks to himself
Argues with himself
Loses arguments with himself

LOGIC
Understands Godel
Has read Godel
Can pronounce Godel
Wears a girdle
Can't recognize a girdle

ALGEBRA
Can prove Fermat's Last Theorem
Can develop the Quadratic Formula
Can use the Quadratic formula
Can spell the word Quadratic
Advocates being a radical

GEOMETRY
Creates consistent sets of axioms
Proves original theorems
Accepts axioms
Proves axioms
Disproves axioms

CALCULUS
Does elliptical integrals by inspection
Can prove the Fundamental Theorem
Has heard of the Fundamental Theorem
Advocates table of integration
Advocates busing for integration