ACTUAL QUOTES FROM FEDERAL EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS: Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. I would not allow this employee to breed. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.