Top 10 Reasons to Like Hanukkah

10. No roof damage from reindeer

9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones

8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more
   days to correct it

7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on candle races

6. You can use your fireplace

5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games

4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah

3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth

2. Cheer optional

1. No Irving Berlin songs
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                The Eight Days of Hanukkah

On the first night of Hanukkah my true love gave to me
 Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the second night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the third night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  3 pounds of corned beef
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  4 potato latkes
  3 pounds of corned beef
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the fifth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  5 bowls of chicken soup
  4 potato latkes
  3 pounds of corned beef
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  6 pickled herrings
  5 bowls of chicken soup
  4 potato latkes
  3 pounds of corned beef
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the seventh night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  7 noodle kugels
  6 pickled herrings
  5 bowls of chicken soup
  4 potato latkes
  3 pounds of corned beef
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the eighth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
  8 Alka- Seltzer
  7 noodle kugels
  6 pickled herrings
  5 bowls of chicken soup
  4 potato latkes
  3 pounds of corned beef
  2 Kosher pickles and
  Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

PS:
For the Israeli version, substitute 1 Falafel ball , 2 spoons of
Hummos,  3 liters of Tehina, 4 plates of salads, 5 glasses of 
eshkoliot (grapefruit juice), 6 bags of pita, 7 mouthfuls of ful and 
8 greps