Funny Musings

- I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. 
  Now I don't know what to feed it. 

- I had amnesia once -- or twice 

- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. 

- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. 

- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. 

- I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. 

- If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses 
sidesaddle. 

- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? 

- They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them. 

- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, 
  when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his 
  car onto a freeway.

- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. 

- Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. 

- What if there were no hypothetical questions? 

- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.