The Perfect Job
Author Unknown

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, 
but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't 
suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little 
spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was 
too exhausting.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance 
company, but the work was just too draining.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, 
I couldn't cut the mustard.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just 
couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but 
I just didn't fit in.

So then I got a job in a workout center, 
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work 
I finally got a job as a historian until I realized 
there was no future in it.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, 
but I didn't have any patience.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually 
I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered 
that I couldn't live on my net income.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit 
because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!