In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. 
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). 

On a bag of Frito's: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (is this the shoplifter's special)? 

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." 
(and that would be how???....) 

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." 
(but, it's "just" a suggestion) 

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): 
"Do not turn upside down." 
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)! 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...) 

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." 
(but wouldn't this save me more time)? 

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." 
(Now mind you, I believe the key word there is Children. 
We should all put our children to work driving or operating machinery... 
Right?) 

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 
(and...I'm taking this because???....) 

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(guess we could hang them in the twilight zone)? 

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." 
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) 

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." 
(talk about a news flash) 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." 
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly United?) 

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment 
does not enable you to fly." 
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) 

On a Swedish Chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with 
your hands or genitals." 
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)