Q: How many Hassidic Rebbes does it take to change a light bulb? A: What is a light bulb? Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: Change? Q: How many Conservative Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: Call a committee meeting. Q: How many Reform Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, anyone can change it whenever they want to. Q: How many Jewish Renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends. * One if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit from electricity from nuclear power. * Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. * Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called "The Jew in the Lightbulb." * Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psyho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience. Q: How many Shlomo hassidim does it take to change a light bulb? A: Gevaldt, it's mamash such a great opportunity to do t'shuvah. So it takes everyone there to get real close, sing a niggun, listen to an Ishbitzer teaching, tell a Levi Yitchak story, and change the bulb at 2 in the morning. Q: How many Reconstructionist Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four. One to wish they were doing what the Orthodox rabbi does, one to wish they were doing what the Reform rabbi does, one to wish they were doing what the Renewal rabbi does, and one eventually to change the bulb. Q: How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? A: 30. One to change the bulb & 29 to discuss it and give contradictory advice to the person changing the bulb. Q. How many Lubavitchers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, it never died. Q: How many Breslover Hassidim does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. There will never be one that will burn as brightly as the first one. Q: How many congregants does it take to change a light bulb in a synagogue? A: CHANGE? You vant we should CHANGE the light bulb? My grandmother donated that light bulb!!!