Subject: NEW MATH

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:
1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)

52 cards: 1 decacards

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University
Hospital:
1 I.V. League