1. A Passover Song [Sung to the tune of "These are a few of my favorite things"] Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes Fish that's gefilted, horseradish that stings These are a few of our Passover things. Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset Shankbones and Kiddish and Yiddish neuroses Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings These are a few of our Passover things. Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows Matzoh balls floating and eggshell that cling These are a few of our Passover things. When the plagues strike When the lice bite When we're feeling sad We simply remember our Passover things And then we don't feel so bad. -------------------------------------------- 2. There's No Seder Like our Seder (sung to the tune of "There's no Business like Show business") There's no seder like our seder, There's no seder I know. Everything about it is Halachic nothing that the Torah won't allow. Listen how we read the whole Haggadah It's all in Hebrew 'Cause we know how. There's no Seder like our seder, We tell a tale that is swell: Moses took the people out into the heat They baked the matzoh While on their feet Now isn't that a story That just can't be beat? Let's go on with the show! -------------------------------------------- 3. Take Us Out of Egypt (sung to the tune of "Take me out to the ball game") Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery Bake us some matzoh in a haste Don't worry 'bout flavor-- Give no thought to taste. Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea If we don't cross it's a shame. For it's ten plagues, Down and you're out At the Pesach history game. -------------------------------------------- 4. Take Me Out To The Seder (To the tune of , of course, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame!") Take me out to the Seder Take me out with the crowd. Feed me on matzah and chicken legs, I don't care for the hard-boiled eggs. And its root, root, root for Elijah That he will soon reappear. And let's hope, hope, hope that we'll meet Once again next year! Take me out to the Seder Take me out with the crowd. Read the Haggadah And don't skip a word. Please hold your talking, We want to be heard. And lets, root, root, root for the leader That he will finish his spiel So we can nosh, nosh, nosh and by-gosh Let's eat the meal!!! -------------------------------------------- 5. Elijah (to the tune of "Maria") Elijah! I just saw the prophet Elijah. And suddenly that name Will never sound the same to me. Elijah! He came to our seder Elijah! He had his cup of wine, But could not stay to dine This year-- Elijah! For your message all Jews are waiting: That the time's come for peace and not hating-- Elijah-- Next year we'll be waiting. Elijah! -------------------------------------------- 6. Les Miselijah (to the tune of "Do you hear the people Sing" from Les Miserables) Do you hear the doorbell ring, And it's a little after ten? It can only be Elijah Come to take a sip again. He is feeling pretty fine But in his head a screw is loose. So perhaps instead of wine We should only give him juice. -------------------------------------------- 7. Just a Tad of Charoset (to the tune of "Just a spoon full of sugar") Chorus: Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down, The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down. Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down, In the most disguising way. Oh, back in Egypt long ago, The Jews were slaves under Pharoah. They sweat and toiled and labored through the day. So when we gather Pesach night, We do what we think right. Maror, we chew, To feel what they went through. Chorus So after years of slavery They saw no chance of being free. Their suffering was the only life they knew. But baby Moses grew up tall, And said he'd save them all. He did, and yet, We swear we won't forget. That...... Chorus While the maror is being passed, We all refill our water glass, Preparing for the taste that turns us red. Although maror seems full of minuses, It sure does clear our sinuses. But what's to do? It's hard to be a Jew!!! Chorus -------------------------------------------- 8. Same time next year (to the tune of "Makin' Whoopee") Another Pesach, another year, The family seder with near and dear... Our faces shining, All thoughts of dining Are put on hold now. We hear four questions, The answer given Recalls the Jews from Egypt driven. The chrain is bitter, (charosetâ??s better!) Please pass the matzoh. Why is this evening different From all the other nights? This year the Jews all over Are free to perform the rites. A gorgeous dinner--who can deny it-- Won't make us thinner, to hell with diet! It's such great cooking... and no one's looking, So just enjoy it. Moving along at steady clip Elijah enters, and takes a sip; And then the singing with voices ringing Our laughter mingling. When singing about Chad Gad Ya. Watch close or your place you'll lose, For Echad Mi Yodea: Which tune shall we use? We pray next Pesach We'll all be here. It's a tradition... Same time next year... So fill it up now, the final cup now, Next year at ____________ -------------------------------------------- 9. The Ballad of the Four Sons (to the tune of "Clementine") Said the father to his children, "At the seder you will dine, You will eat your fill of matzoh, you will drink four cups of wine." Now this father had no daughters, but his sons they numbered four. One was wise and one was wicked, one was simple and a bore. And the fourth was sweet and winsome, he was young and he was small. While his brothers asked the questions he could scarcely speak at all. Said the wise one to his father, "Would you please explain the laws? Of the customs of the seder, will you please explain the cause?" And the father proudly answered, "As our fathers ate in speed, Ate the paschal lamb 'ere midnight, and from slavery were freed." So we follow their example, and 'ere midnight must complete All the seder and we should not, after 12 remain to eat. Then did sneer the son so wicked, "What does all this mean to you?" And the father's voice was bitter, as his grief and anger grew. "If you yourself don't consider, a son of Israel, Then for you this has no meaning, you could be a slave as well." Then the simple son said simply, "What is this," and quietly The good father told his offspring, "We were freed from slavery." But the youngest son was silent, for he could not ask at all. His bright eyes were bright with wonder as his father told him all. My dear children, heed the lesson and remember ever more What the father told his children told his sons that numbered four. -------------------------------------------- 10. The Ballad of Mo Amramson (to "The Ballad of Jed Clampett") Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Mo, His people they were slaves to the evil Pharoah, Until one day he was lookin' at a bush, And he heard the voice of God, though he wasn't a lush--- The LORD, that is, I AM, The Big G. Next thing you know, Mo's talkin' to Pharoah, Mo says, "God said you gotta let my people go!" But the king says, "No, they always will be slaves to me!" So God sent down ten big plagues on Pharoah's whole country--- Blood 'n frogs, that is, Pestilence, Special effects. When the first borns died, Pharoah sent the Jews away, They ran and ate some matzoh on that very happy day, So now we have our Seder to commemorate that feat--- We drink some wine and talk a lot, we sing and also eat! Matzoh, that is, Maror too. And good food. Y'all come back now, y'hear! -------------------------------------------- 11. Afikomen 'Round the Mountain Chorus Afikomen 'round the mountain when she comes .... (1) She'll be drinkin' Mogen David.... slurp, slurp (2) She'll be burpin on charoses ...... burp, burp (3) She'll be chewin' on a shank bone chomp, chomp (4) She'll be sleepin' off the matzos snoring sound -------------------------------------------- 12. Haggadah Wash that Man Right out of my Hair Hagadah wash that man right out of my hair Because he's full of chometz but he doesn't care. That it's a custom now to be rid of that snare, I'll send him on his way. Haggadah drink my wine and feel real free, Haggadah eat charosez, matzah and tea, Haggadah keep the seder, with joy and glee. I really love that day!! He doesn't like gefilte fish, eat it up, eat it up. He doesn't like the matzah dish Heat it up, heat it up. can't wait for him to change -- Hey buddy... (repeat 1st verse). -------------------------------------------- 13. Morror (Sung to the tune of "More..") Morror is the bitterness the world has known, But in Canada we need not moan. Morror were the ghettos of across the sea, But here we habitate a land that's free. Morror on the table, we are sure and we're able to look forward to many types of joy - oh boy-oi-oi-oi... Morror is the bitter herb upon our plate, And if we were sober we would palitate Morror is the answer for the schnorer, who is rich or poorer -- Why can't we love forever .....Morror! -------------------------------------------- 14. The Eight Nights of Passover: (To the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas') On the first night of Passover my mother served to me 1) a matzo ball in chicken soup 2) two dipped herbs 3) three pieces of matzah 4) four cups of wine 5) five gefilte fish 6) six capons baking 7) seven eggs a boiling 8) eight briskets roasting -------------------------------------------- 15. Paraoh doesn't Pay (To the tune of "I've been Working on the Railroad") We've been working on these buildings; Pharaoh doesn't pay. We've been doing what he tells us Mixing straw with clay. Can't you hear the master calling, "Hurry up, make that brick!" Can't you feel the master whip us 'Til we're feeling sick. Oy vay, it's a mess, A terrible distress, Oy vay, it's a mess for Jews, us Jews. Moshe's in the palace with Pharaoh, Warning of all God's clout, clout, clout. Moshe's in the palace with Pharaoh, And God's gonna get us out! We're singing . . . . Fee, Fi, Fiddely eye oh, Make our matzahs "to go" oh oh oh. Fee, Fi, Fiddely eye oh, Stick it to the ol' Pharaoh! -------------------------------------------- 16. Moses Island (Sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island) Just recline right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of dreadful trip. That started with ten awful plagues brought onto Egypt, brought unto Egypt. The boss he was a Jewish man raised as a Pharaohos son. Then G-d he did come calling and soon the fun begun, soon the fun begun. More blood, such frogs, and all those bugs, Pharaoh could just barely see. The Jews were really scoring points and soon they would be free. and soon they would be free. They shlepped and shlepped for forty years across a desert land. He went up to Mt Sinai and a party soon began, a party soon began. Moses, the Pharaoh too, Aaron and his wife. Marianne the skipper too here on the desert island. --------------------------------------------