Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass? Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is TERRY, and I am an alcoholic'? Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangle things here and drink whatever comes out'? Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong? Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?