The Top 16 Signs the U.S. Economy is in a Recession 16> Top5 lists getting progressively less funny as volunteer writers have to actually worry about keeping their day jobs. 15> Your boss has been spotted walking through the office muttering "eennie, meenie, minie, mo..." 14> The markets have been so bearish they're now looking for unattended pick-a-nic baskets. 13> Poorer Klan members forced to experiment with disposable diaper headgear. 12> The CEO has downsized to just the one mistress. 11> To jumpstart the NYC economy, Mayor Giuliani orders the return of "Cats" to Broadway. 10> "Who Wants Regis Philbin's Loose Change?" 9> Stale, 30-year-old hard candy in the bowl at Grandma's now 25 cents apiece. 8> Several self-employed people forced to lay themselves off. 7> Soccer moms actually take *two* kids to practice at once in the Excursion. 6> Amazon.com downgrades its name to SissyGirl.com. 5> Daily dilemma: Spend the 49 cents to supersize or to buy 49 shares of Cisco. 4> Gang members seen picking up shell cases for re-use after every drive-by. 2> You don't seriously believe Jordan came out of retirement just for the love of the game, do you? and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign the U.S. Economy is in a Recession... 1> When E.F. Hutton speaks, you reply, "Yes, I would like fries with that."