It's the sign of the times! 

On a Septic Tank Truck sign: 
"We're #1 in the #2 business." 
 
On a Plumbers truck: 
"We repair what your husband fixed." 

On a Plumbers truck: 
"Don't sleep with a drip.  Call your plumber." 

Pizza shop slogan: 
"7 days without pizza makes one weak." 

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: 
"Invite us to your next blowout." 

On a plastic surgeon's office door: 
"Hello.  Can we pick your nose?" 

At a towing company: 
"We don't charge an arm and a leg.  We want tows." 

In a nonsmoking area: 
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire 
and take appropriate action." 

On a maternity room door: 
"Push.  Push.  Push." 

At an optometrist's office: 
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've 
come to the right place." 

On a taxidermist's window: 
"We really know our stuff." 

In a podiatrist's office: 
"Time wounds all heels." 

On a fence: 
"Salesmen welcome!  Dog food is expensive." 

At a car dealership: 
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." 

Outside a muffler shop: 
"No appointment necessary.  We hear you coming." 

In a veterinarian's waiting room: 
"Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!" 

At the electric company: 
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. 
However, if you don't, you will be." 

In a restaurant window: 
"Don't stand there and be hungry ..  Come on in and get fed up." 

In the front yard of a funeral home: 
"Drive carefully.  We'll wait." 

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop: 
"Best place in town to take a leak."