(-: T H E S M I L E Y I N D E X :-) The increasing number of computers and electrical communications requires new standards. We now bring you one of the most important necessities; THE SMILEY :-) the normal smiling face, appended to a sentence or an article means 'this is a joke' or 'this is supposed to make you laugh' :-| no expression face, 'that comment doesn't phase me' :-( Sad or angry face ("unsmiley"), 'that comment makes me sad [mad]' :-} Fiendish grin ;-) used after a (slightly) sarchastic comment *or* A wink *or* smiling face gets his lights punched out (could be pirate smiling face??), submitter is a practical joker who played one too many and got beat up ;-| no expression face gets his lights punched out, says nothing but still gets beat up ;-( sad face gets his lights punched out, sad or mad and got beat up, or 'that makes me so mad that if I ever see you I'll punch your lights out' |-( Smiley sent late at night :-> Same as #1 except person who submitted it has problems with their lips :-{) Same as #1 except submitter has mustache :-} normal smiling face with pretty lips, same as #1 except person that submitted it is wearing lipstick or some other lip appearance improving device :-\ popeye smiling face, for people who look like popeye ;-\ popeye gets his lights punched out ~/~ Stirring up trouble. (I have to admit I don't really understand this one) :-] biting sarcasm smiling face, used when sarcasm is intended, since we cannot inflect our voice over the net :-[ biting criticism smiling face, ditto for criticism :*) drunk smiling face, for those of us who like get intoxicated before or while reading netnews : ) smiling face needs a nose job, no explanation necessary :>) submitter has a big nose :<| submitter attends an Ivy League school :%)% submitter has acne =:-) submitter is a hosehead :-(*) submitter is getting sick of most recent netnews articles and is about to vomit :-)8 submitter is well dressed 8:-) submitter is a little girl :-)-{8 submitter is a big girl %-) submitter is cross-eyed #-) submitter partyed all night :-* submitter just ate a sour pickle -:-) submitter sports a mohawk and admires Mr. T (:)-) submitter likes to scuba dive :-'| submitter has a cold :-)' submitter tends to drool ':-) submitter accidentally shaved off one of his eyebrows this morning (-: submitter is Don Ellis from Tektronix 8:] normal smiling face except that submitter is a gorilla %-^ submitter is Picasso (-: submitter is left-handed 0-) submitter is an arc-welder *or* submitter is wearing a scuba mask *:o) submitter is a Bozo 8-) submitter wears glasses *<|:-) submitter is Santa Claus (Ho Ho Ho) o-) submitter is a cyclops %-) submitter with long bangs (-) submitter needing a haircut *-( Cyclops got poked in the eye &-) person submitting has been staring at the terminal for 36 hours B-) person submitting is cool and wearing cheap sunglasses B-| person submitting is hypercool and wearing cheap sunglasses P-) person submitting is getting fresh :^( submitter has had his nose put out of joint. Useful for replying to flames. |-) Submitter is asleep |-( Submitter is asleep (boredom) .-) Submitter has one eye '-) Submitter only has a left eye, which is closed :=) Submitter has two noses :-D Submitter talks too much _ :-) Submitter is Prince Charles - :-o Submitter is shocked :-{ submitter has read too many of the toilet paper articles previous to lunch :-)= Respondent has beard. :-)@ Respondent's beard has permanent wave *or* was drawn by Picasso. :-# Respondent's lips are sealed. -(:-) Submitter is the pope 8:-) Submitter wears glasses but has them placed on his/her forehead {(:-) Submitter is wearing toupee. }(:-( Submitter, wearing toupee in wind. <|-)= Submitter is Chinese. (sorry bout that) <|-(= Submitter is Chinese and doesn't like this article. :-( Submitter has read too many 'smiley' articles. ___ / \ | RIP | Submitter accidentially died |_____| O|-) Submitter is a saint 8:-I Submitter is a Unix-wizard Z-) Submitter is from the Twilight Zone X-( Submitter is to perform suicide :-I hmm ? E-:-I Submitter operates on net.ham-radio >:-I The same for net.startrek 3:o[ ... net.pets :-# Submitter wears braces :-)X Submitter wears a bow tie :-Q Submitter is a smoker <:I Submitter is a dunce (:I Submitter is an egghead B-) horn-rims 8:-) submitter wearing his glasses on his forehead :-8( condescending stare :-` smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco :-1 smiley bland face :-! " :-@ smiley face screaming :-#| smiley face with bushy mustache :-$ smiley face with it's mouth wired shut :^) smiley with pointy nose (righty) :-7 smiley after a wry statement :-s smiley after bizarre statement/comment :-* smiley after eating something bitter :-& smiley which is tongue-tied :-9 smiley licking it's lips :-0 smiley orator smiley invisible man (:-( unsmiley frowning (:-) smiley big-face ):-) " ):-( unsmiley big-face )O-) big-face scuba smiley =:-) punk-rocker smiley =:-( (real punk rockers don't smile) =:-#} smiley punk with a mustache.... :-q smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose :-e disappointed smiley :-t cross smiley :-i semi-smiley :-o smiley singing national anthem :-p smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!) :-[ un-smiley blockhead :-] smiley blockhead {:-) smiley with its hair parted in the middle (could be a priest) }:-) above in an updraft :-a lefty smilely touching tongue to nose :-d lefty smiley razzing you g-) smiley with pince-nez glasses :-j left smiling smilely :-k beats me, looks like something, tho. :-: mutant smiley : submitter is a robot (or other appropriate AI project) :-\ undecided smiley :-| "have an ordinary day" smiley :-c bummed out smiley :-v talking head smiley :v) left-pointing nose smiley :-b left-pointing tongue smiley :-/ lefty undecided smiley :-? smilely smoking a pipe :-=) older smiley with mustache :u) smiley with funny-looking left nose :n) smiley with funny-looking right nose :> midget smiley :< midget unsmiley :-)/2 remark was only half in jest }:^#}) mega-smiley: updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a