ON THIS SABBATH before Rosh Hashonah, when our thoughts and
prayers are centered on the good and happy life, I would like
to ask a pertinent question: When do you think is the best
time of life for the average person? When was the best time
of your life? We generally divide life into four
periods - childhood, youth, middle age, and old age.
Now which of the four do you think is the best?
I know that many would consider childhood as the
golden age of life.
Just consider how wonderful a period childhood is!
It is full of enchantment and joy, of make-believe and
loveliness. When we think of the days of our childhood,
the carefree days with our parents and family, we feel a
lump in our throats. Ah, for those lovely days that only
a poet can adequately describe and chant about!
This sentiment was immortalized in a popular Yiddish
folksong: Kiender yohren zisse kiender yohren
- "years of childhood, O sweet years of childhood . . ."
But when you stop to consider for a while you may ask
the question, were they really as sweet as all that?
The late George Bernard Shaw is quoted as having remarked
that the trouble with childhood is that it is being wasted
on children.
Yes! On the surface it appears that childhood constitutes
the most wonderful period in life. No worries and no cares,
no disappointments and no heartaches. And yet, have you ever
studied the emotions of a child when he doesn't want to go
to school or do homework?
This mood was also captured in a Yiddish song entitled,
Ich viel nisht gein in cheder - "I don't want to go
to school..."
What happens when little Jackie is refused a second
helping of ice cream, or when little Judy is not permitted
to stay up until eleven o'clock to watch a mystery show on TV,
or when little Donald cannot have a water gun with which to
squirt the other children on the block? If we were to study
the emotions of frustrated children, measure their tears and
feel their heartaches when they cannot have their way, we would
reach the conclusion that the years of childhood are not as rosy
as we picture them.
As we grow older, we take satisfaction in the fact that we
have outgrown our childishness; that our sense of values has
matured; that the things we thought were so terribly important
when we were nine or ten, we now find to be of trivial
significance, or of no consequence at all.
Shall we say then that youth constitutes the happiest period
of life? Just think of the world of promise that belongs to
youth - the energy, the strength, the vitality that it possesses;
the adventure and romance that it breathes; the bravery, daring
and heroism of those in their early twenties or in their late
teens. Statistics prove that the most dangerous missions in war
are carried out best by the young. It is the young warrior who
usually wins the Congressional Medal of Honor. During the war
young soldiers took hand grenades, placed them in their bosom
and threw themselves under enemy tanks, and were blown to bits.
This is characteristic of the devotion and idealism of youth.
It is no exaggeration to say that young people have it in their
power to move mountains and to shape worlds. This is the positive
side of the picture.
But there is also a negative aspect to the younger years.
Young men and women have to face the problem of getting into
college and choosing a career. Many young people in love,
who would like to marry and raise families, are prevented from
realizing these blessings because of financial difficulties.
And in our turbulent period of history, young men have been
burdened with the possibility of conscription and
military training.
No, youth cannot be singled out as the happiest period of
life.
Let us turn now to middle age. That period certainly deserves
our consideration. Once a person has reached his middle forties,
he is more or less established in life. If one has led a clean
and sensible existence and has a little financial reserve on
which he can draw, he can enjoy a number of comforts and
pleasures, vacations and trips, which he probably could not
afford earlier in life. Are they not then the finest and most
enjoyable years of life?
Once again one can point to a negative aspect. It is amazing
how frequently rabbis are called upon to officiate at funerals
where the deceased was in the late forties or early fifties.
Look into the obituary columns of the New York Times and
you will see that the period of middle age is a very dangerous one.
The fact is that in their desire to succeed, people in the forties
and fifties overworry and overtax themselves, and pay dearly for
these excesses.
A rabbi once entered the home of a middle aged wealthy man.
He was smoking and coughing. "Why do you have to smoke if it
makes you cough?" the rabbi asked. The man explained that after
a heavy meal there is nothing like a good smoke to help settle
the stomach. Later the rabbi met a poor man in the street who was
also smoking and coughing, and the rabbi asked him the same
question, "Why do you have to smoke if it makes you cough?"
To which the poor fellow replied, "As you know I am poor and
have little to eat. Smoking helps me forget about food."
"See," said the rabbi, "If one would not have too much to eat,
and the other too little to eat, neither of them would have
to smoke and cough."
In middle-life everyone seems to be coughing. Almost everyone
is bothered with something. Some are terribly spoiled by too much,
and others "eat themselves up alive" because they think they have
too little. No wonder that middle age is characterized as the age
of Serutan, Aspirin and Nitro-glycerine pills. So you see that
these years also have their drawback.
Well, you will ask, what about old age? That seems to be a
wonderful period in man's life. The old are surrounded by children,
grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. It is the age when one
can realize the fulfillment of one's fondest dreams and most
fervent prayers. As a result of years of experience the old are
wise, mellow and serene. George Santayana, at 82, said,
"I have never been happier in my life than right now."
And yet we know numerous cases where the picture is not so rosy.
While there are compensations in old age, there are also many
shortcomings. Most of the trouble is physical in origin. The feet
become sluggish, the reflexes do not respond well, and the eyes
grow dim. And ah! the aches and pains! Many who reach the twilight
of life are unhappy for yet another reason. They are disturbed that
they cannot do things for themselves and have to depend on others
to do it for them.
One old gentleman related that before he came to this country
he went to see a Chassidic rabbi who was known for his wisdom and
piety. The rabbi blessed him and said, "I pray to God that you
will not have any trouble with houses in America." He is in this
country more than 40 years and he didn't own any houses.
So he couldn't comprehend the significance of the rabbi's wish.
But now that he is old, he is beginning to grasp the idea.
You see, his wife died and he remained penniless and alone.
His six children had a meeting and decided that the best thing
for their old father was to stay with each child for two months
at a time. Every two months he has to pack and move from one
house to another. He now has plenty of troubles with houses,
and he also knows that the rabbi's good wishes for him did not
come true.
An old woman related to me the other day how her son and
daughter-in-law with whom she stays were frightened when the
doctor informed them that she was in good health and would
last for another ten to fifteen years. You see, the son and
daughter-in-law want the room occupied by the mother as a
TV room, and they are disappointed to have to wait from
ten to fifteen years. To these people, old age is far from
being a golden twilight.
Thus we have briefly analyzed the four major periods of
life and found that none of them can be pointed to as being
completely sweet and happy.
Let us turn to Jewish sources and see whether we can find
an answer to our question. The answer of Judaism is found in
the liturgy of the High Holidays. One word is repeated
over and over again. The word is hayom - today.
Today let us be strong;
Today let us be blessed.
In the Bible, too, the accent is on hayom
(Deut. 29:9; 30:19).
Did you ever stop to consider what a wonderful present
God gives us every morning - the gift of a day? We go to bed
at night tired and worn, and we arise in the morning invigorated
and refreshed. When our eyes open, what boundless joys even the
poorest of us can experience! The air, the sky, and the sea;
the fragrance of flowers and the song of birds. All these things,
and more, can be ours if we have the heart to appreciate them.
It is we who decide what shall become of that day.
We can kill it or fill it. The best time of our lives, says Judaism,
is hayom - here and now. The greatest opportunity for
goodness, service, and piety is today.
Says the poet -
Build a little fence of trust
Just around today.
Fill the space with loving work
And therein stay.
Look not through the sheltering bars
Upon tomorrow -
God will help you, come what may
Of joy and sorrow.
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