People watch a lecturer deliver an interesting talk and
they think to themselves that public speaking is a cinch;
that words just flow out of the mouth of the speaker, and
appropriate gestures come as a matter of course. But when
the time comes and those individuals are called upon to
say a few words to a group - at a P.T.A. meeting or at a
simchah in the family - they discover how tough a
chore it is. Words come out of their mouths at a snail's pace;
their knees buckle; their hearts pound; and after a few
"ahems," "you knows" and coughs they manage to say something
that makes no sense. It is then that they realize that public
speaking is no cinch; that it takes a great deal of preparation
and experience to be an accomplished speaker.
People like to talk these days about teachers.
"Why, it's easy to conduct a class!" they say. "One just
prepares a lesson, pours forth one's knowledge to the students,
hands out assignments, gives quizzes, marks papers, and that's
that!" Then there comes a time when they are asked to take
care of a group of teenagers for an outing, and they learn
very quickly what a problem it is to keep a dozen youngsters
orderly and quiet. It then dawns on them that a teacher's job
is not as sweet as they thought it to be; that wisdom, skill
and experience are needed in the classroom situation.
This truth is especially applicable to the home.
Many husbands think that wives have it very easy. They,
themselves, work hard, of course. They have the responsibility
of buying and selling, of dealing with capricious clients,
mean competitors, and a lazy and inefficient office staff.
But their wives, God bless them, enjoy gan eden on
this earth. What is there to do in the home? Make up a few beds,
sweep the floor, prepare meals, wash the dishes, take care of
the laundry, and do a little shopping. Why, it's a cinch!
Until one day, the wife gets sick and he - the big shot -
is forced to take over. After three days of shopping, washing
and taking care of the children, he is ready to collapse.
A fellow I know once rushed into the synagogue and pleaded
with our sexton to recite the mi sheberach prayer for
the speedy recovery of his ailing wife with special fervor,
for he simply couldn't take the housework any more. Weeks after
his wife's recovery, this man kept mumbling to himself about
dishes, diapers, and suds.
I once watched a skit on television, where, after a heated
debate on this subject, husband and wife agreed that she would
go and do his work at the office and he would take care of the
home. After one week, he pleaded with his wife to go back and
take care of the home. He found out that housekeeping is not
the cinch it was cracked up to be.
The same is true with respect to husbands. Leaders in the
Womens' Lib movement keep telling us how wonderful it is to be
a man and how a woman is nebach, discriminated against.
While a number of their complaints are justified, there is
no balance in their argument. Consider some of the facts.
In order to provide for their families, men have to travel to
and from work on crowded highways or subways. The strain and
stress of their efforts are recorded in actual statistics.
Men are subject to circulatory disorders and heart disease more
than women. The average span of life for a male is 71 and for
a female almost 76. And the wealth of the nation is mostly in
the hands of the so-called weaker sex. Ah yes, it is no cinch to
be a male! In fact, life is no cinch for most mortals.
Children think that it is easy to be a parent; that pop
and mom can do what and when they please; that most of
the time parents are unreasonable and the demands they make on
their offspring are unreasonable - expecting their children to
obey orders, to go to school on time, do well in their schoolwork,
return from a date at a reasonable hour, be careful with whom
they associate, etc. They hold to this opinion tenaciously,
until they grow up themselves, get married and have children of
their own. It is then that they find out that being a parent,
especially a wise one, is no cinch at all. It is then that they
begin to appreciate what their own parents went through to
raise them into manhood and womanhood.
Among a group of people who went for a visit to the Soviet
Union, there was an individual who always defended the policies
of Russia and criticized everything in Amercia. When he returned
from his trip, he said to me, "Rabbi, this is the first time in
my life that I really appreciate the freedoms we enjoy in our land.
While we were in Russia, we were watched, our hotel rooms were
'bugged,' and relatives were afraid to speak to us candidly in
the privacy of their homes. The freedoms that I have taken for
granted all these years are now very precious to me."
That life is no cinch is brought home to us by one of the
commentaries on the sidrah of this week. In speaking
about teshuvah - repentance - the Torah states,
"And you will return unto your God and hearken to His voice"
(Deut. 30:2). Six verses later, we are told, "And you will return
and obey the voice of God, and observe all His commandments."
Why the repetition? The Tiferet Shelomo explains the
repetition as follows: When a person begins the process of
teshuvah, he thinks that it is relatively easy to do it.
As the days go by, however, he realizes how difficult it is to
renounce an old life-style and adopt a new set of responsibilities
and modes of behavior. He begins to understand the immensity of
his sins, the seriousness of his deviations and the distance that
he has removed himself from the presence of God. It is only after
one has made the initial moves of teshuvah that one
realizes the extent of the disarray of his life and the enormity
of the task that lies ahead before he can attain true atonement.
The second stage of teshuva is alluded to in the
latter verse. It reminds one that teshuvah is no cinch;
that the task is formidable and arduous, and that the results are
revolutionary. Teshuvah shelemah cleanses one's soul and
restores the tzelem Elohim to the human personality.
That kind of penitence is no cinch, but it elevates man and brings
him back to stand in the presence of God.