Papyrus Newspaper Headlines for the Seder

The Midyan Fire Department was called, after there were reports of flames burning somewhere in the desert.

Upon arriving at the scene, firefighters were baffled, finding no evidence of actual burning, but oddly, they did find a pair of size 11 EEE, Nimrod brand sandals…

The winner is Moses, son of Amram and Yocheved, for his original ice cream combining Red Hots, Strawberries, Ocean Salt and Banana, into what he proudly calls – “The Red Sea Split.”

The happy winner, Moses, was quoted as saying, “I guess it make sense, as I am a “Cone/Cohen,” you know!”

Although he was definitely killed, amazingly, no signs of violence or even a struggle were found on the body.

Interestingly, a whip of some kind, seems to be still tightly clutched in his dead hand.

It seems that it was a very bad day for the Egyptian teams who, not only all lost, but seemed to have taken a real beating this weekend.

Here are some local scores:
The Cairo Klutzes were mauled by the Tigers.
The Luxor Losers were crushed by the visiting Bears and
The Alexandria Fools were beaten, and then eaten by The Lions.

The nations of Edom, Moav and Canaan were reported to be ordering massive doses of Tylenol, Dexamol, Ibuprofen and aspirin.

Also, entire shipping containers loaded with anti-depressants have arrived at their shores.

Hopefully someone will be able to explain this unusual behavior…

Egyptian scientists were baffled, and environmentalists were seen scratching their heads today, trying to comprehend a new, mysterious source of energy, as it was reported that a bright light was seen emanating from the Ben Amram household.

Neighbors claim that prior to the appearance of the light, they distinctly heard a woman scream – oddly at her husband – “I ain’t never doing this again!”

Upon hearing a rumor that fresh frogs legs were available in abundance in Egypt, 36 chefs from the prestigious VeLoatheAllForeigners Cooking School, quickly packed up to leave for Cairo.

Addendum to previous article
It seems that their trip was really for nothing, since all the frogs mysteriously vanished…

Hardly used – dozens of royal, jewel encrusted chariots, some with some minor rust.

If interested, please contact J. Cousteau and ask for Jacques.

An extremely rare phenomenon, has been reported by the Middle East Optometrist Society.

Hundreds of thousands of Israelite people have claimed, that they not only heard spoken words, but also actually saw them!

Dr. Yechezkel ben Buzi was quoted a saying that unusual as it may be, he too is familiar with such an occurrence.

From Giza, Egypt

Yesterday, little Omar’s pet goldfish, was, unfortunately, swallowed up by a frog.