Papyrus Newspaper Headlines for the Seder
Papyrus Newspaper Headlines for the Seder
by Benjie Herskowitz
Instructions: Read the article and match up the story with
something that is related to the chag of Pesach.
False Alarm?
The Midyan Fire Department was called, after there were reports of
flames burning somewhere in the desert.
Upon arriving at the scene, firefighters were baffled, finding no evidence
of actual burning, but oddly, they did find a pair of size 11 EEE,
Nimrod brand sandals…
Ben and Jerry's Cairo Branch, Announces Winner of New Ice Cream
Flavor Contest
The winner is Moses, son of Amram and Yocheved, for his original
ice cream combining Red Hots, Strawberries, Ocean Salt and Banana,
into what he proudly calls - “The Red Sea Split.”
The happy winner, Moses, was quoted as saying, “I guess it make sense,
as I am a “Cone/Cohen,” you know!”
Archeologist Digging in Egypt, Reveal Lone Body of Ancient Egyptian
Although he was definitely killed, amazingly, no signs of violence
or even a struggle were found on the body.
Interestingly, a whip of some kind, seems to be still tightly clutched
in his dead hand.
In The World of Sports
It seems that it was a very bad day for the Egyptian teams who,
not only all lost, but seemed to have taken a real beating this weekend.
Here are some local scores:
The Cairo Klutzes were mauled by the Tigers.
The Luxor Losers were crushed by the visiting Bears and
The Alexandria Fools were beaten, and then eaten by The Lions.
In Foreign News
The nations of Edom, Moav and Canaan were reported to be ordering
massive doses of Tylenol, Dexamol, Ibuprofen and aspirin.
Also, entire shipping containers loaded with anti-depressants have
arrived at their shores.
Hopefully someone will be able to explain this unusual behavior…
Dateline: 7 Adar
Egyptian scientists were baffled, and environmentalists were seen
scratching their heads today, trying to comprehend a new, mysterious
source of energy, as it was reported that a bright light was seen
emanating from the Ben Amram household.
Neighbors claim that prior to the appearance of the light, they
distinctly heard a woman scream - oddly at her husband -
“I ain't never doing this again!”
36 French Master Chefs Apply for Egyptian Visas
Upon hearing a rumor that fresh frogs legs were available in
abundance in Egypt, 36 chefs from the prestigious
VeLoatheAllForeigners Cooking School, quickly packed up
to leave for Cairo.
Addendum to previous article
It seems that their trip was really for nothing, since all the
frogs mysteriously vanished…
For Sale
Hardly used - dozens of royal, jewel encrusted chariots, some with
some minor rust.
If interested, please contact J. Cousteau and ask for Jacques.
Medical Corner
An extremely rare phenomenon, has been reported by the Middle East
Optometrist Society.
Hundreds of thousands of Israelite people have claimed, that they
not only heard spoken words, but also actually saw them!
Dr. Yechezkel ben Buzi was quoted a saying that unusual as it
may be, he too is familiar with such an occurrence.
And We End On a Sad Note…
From Giza, Egypt
Yesterday, little Omar's pet goldfish, was, unfortunately,
swallowed up by a frog.
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